Germany vs. Serbia – Germany lost.
Okay, that’s it, Germany. I’m officially in a love-hate relationship with you.
I was going to wake up at 7:30am to watch this game. I was way too sleepy though, so I kicked my alarm clock and went back to sleep. Except then I started dreaming that Germany lost to Serbia.
So I woke up at 10am with a very bad feeling about this game. But I still felt like, okay Sarah, stop being so silly. It was a DREAM.
But then I turn on my computer and there it is on CBC:
After I watched the video, I didn’t really know how to feel. Because on one side:
- I really don’t think Klose deserved a red card. His first yellow card was very questionable. When CBC played it back on video, the commentators were like, “Was there contact? Well, at least the referee thought so”. But it really didn’t seem like there was much contact – Even if there was, it looked more like Klose just had his hand on the Serbian player’s back.
- That questionable red card meant that Germany was playing with 1 less player (a very very important player at that) when Serbia scored its goal and for the entire second half of the game.
- Despite this, Germany still had more shots (also more shots on goal) and more possession than Serbia.
- They did have a decent amount of goals that were extremely close, as in closer than Spain ever got against Switzerland (=__=”’)
On the other hand:
- They shouldn’t really have let Serbia score that one goal.
- The handball from Serbia was like a God-given opportunity, except
- GERMANY MISSES THE PENALTY SHOT.
- WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT.
- “The last time Germany missed a non-shootout penalty at a World Cup was in 1974″.
- NINETEEN SEVENTY-FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The person who missed the penalty shot was Lukas Podolski. Oh, wait, I saw a hilarious poser picture of him:
Pffffff. And no, he’s not gay.
He’s a talented player. Really, he is. He scored very spectacular goals in the last World Cup and he also scored in the Australia game.
It’s just… He’s the kind of player that does a lot of media shit like this:
Please. That kissing-necklace thing is just old.
…My eyes. >__<”
Okay great. So you’re hot.
But you know what would be even hotter?
If you didn’t try to flaunt the fact that you’re hot.
And if you didn’t have a website that looks like this:
What on Earth is with that whole “I have swirly writing all over my naked body!” thing?
Really, I think Podolski should learn from his teammate Phillipp Lahm, who’s completely modest and adorable. You can actually find legit information on his website.
He gets bonus points for having such epic eyebrows. You have competition, Wais.
So in conclusion, I suppose I’m less disappointed with Germany than I was with Spain, because Germany played well considering the fact that their usual goal-scorer got a weird red card.
BUT they missed a penalty shot. For the first time in 36 years.
I love Germany. I hate Germany. I love Germany. I hate Germany.
I love Germany.
So, in conclusion, I’m going to present you with a quote by the legendary German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn, who remains the only Goalkeeper in the history of World Cup to have won “Best Player of the Tournament” :
“Balls! Balls! We need balls, if you know what I mean.”
– Oliver Kahn
I wish he was still here. If Oliver Kahn was the goalkeeper, then Serbia could never have scored that goal.
That guy has so much balls. It’s almost alien.
Germany. Please go obtain some balls. Or I’ll feel like my Germany shirt was such a waste of money.
On a side note, all the traditionally strong teams have been screwed over this World Cup for some reason:
- England vs. USA = 1-1. Spectacular goalkeeper fail.
- Italy vs. Paraguay = 1-1. BORING AS HELL.
- France vs. Mexico = 0-2. TU SUCK, FRANCE.
- Spain vs. Switzerland = 0-1. … … Disappointment. So much of it.
- Netherlands vs. Denmark = 2-0. Oookay, except it wasn’t that the Dutch were so fantastic. It was more like spectacular Denmark fail with the own goal.
- And now Germany misses the penalty shot.
If the Netherlands sucks tomorrow against Japan, I’m giving up all hope in European teams and will support, oh I don’t know, North Korea.
I did not just say that. That doesn’t count.