English is bullshit.

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it:

English marks don’t mean squat.

Like, seriously.

The problem is that every English teacher marks very differently. There is actually no way to regulate English marking – no school seems to be diligent enough to try and come up with a system of marking that all English teachers have to follow.

I understand that it’s difficult to regulate marking for English – but I haven’t seen any English departments try either.

For example, I think it’s possible to discuss this issue in the many, many useless department meetings. The teachers can try to have a big workshop in which sample essays are brought in and all the teachers can agree on a range of marks that they would give for these essays. I mean, if these teachers are all so qualified and competent as the school assures us they are, then they should probably be able to come up with such a system.

But no. They don’t actually give a crap. Every teacher just marks however he/she wants to.

Which results in English marks being things of luck – if you’re lucky and get an easy marker, then good for you. But if you’re unlucky (like I always am) and end up with the crazy-ass hard markers then you’re screwed.

Because you can never actually argue with English teachers about your mark. Because you just didn’t use the right word here, see. Your focus was too broad, see. Your essay just doesn’t sound as good as Bob’s, see.

My grade eleven teacher was like that. And now my summer school English teacher is like that too.

They keep giving me really positive comments – like how my essays are so eloquent and well-organized, etc, etc, and then I get a mark ranging from 75 to 82.

So then I ask them why I get such low marks even though my essays were so eloquent, and they say,

“But 70 is a good mark! In university you get lower than that!”

…

You know what.

I’m NOT IN UNIVERSITY YET.

All I care about is getting into university.

And at this rate I’m not getting into university.

It wouldn’t be such a problem if everyone got low marks. But there’s always that big-eyebrowed kid in the class next to you getting high 80s by producing the same quality stuff that you do. Because his teacher marks so much more easily.

So when you hand in your transcript, the university will be like, hmm, big-eyebrowed kid has 88 in English, this nerdy-looking girl is getting a 75, I WONDER WHICH ONE I WILL ACCEPT?

No offence to the big-eyebrowed person. Just trying to come up with an example.

And you know what? You just never know how these teachers mark. You find yourself working your butt off to get an 80 (Oh, God, I JUST WANT AN 80!!!) and that dumb girl who won’t shut her trap sitting next to you is getting into the 80s. And you just ask yourself,

Why?

Why is it that English teachers always think that 70 is such a good mark? Most university programs require a minimum of 75. Why is it that to these teachers 85 is the highest mark that you can get? What’s the point of making 85 the highest mark you can get in an essay?

So this is why I said that English marks don’t mean anything. They don’t really represent your writing skills. Because English is not about being able to coherently argue your point anymore. English is all about rhetorical devices and symbolism and archetypes. Oh my.

What really determines your English mark is basically luck. You just have to pray that you get an easy marker and a teacher who might like you.

I’m getting, what, a 75 in English right now? And one of my friends asked me, “WHAT, you got 75?!?! Then what is the rest of the class getting????” (Wow, my reputation as a nerd spreads far and wide.) Then she asked me, “Well, do you think you deserve a 75?”

The truth is, I don’t know.

After my crazy grade 11 year and now summer school, I just don’t know what I deserve anymore. I don’t know what is a “good mark”, and I don’t know whether I deserve an 85.

All I know is that I just want to finish English and then never think about it again.

I’ll just have to worry about not getting into university when I start getting rejection letters.

__________________________________

Actually, you know what?

I’m going to stop ranting so much. Because nobody cares. Nobody generally gives a crap about my petty little problems because I’ve been told that I whine so much about inconsequential things all day long.

That’s fine. I’m going to stop being such a complainer as of this post.

In fact, maybe I’ll just stop writing on NFC for a while because all I seem to do here is complain anyway.

So, toodles for a bit. Maybe I’ll try writing in a sillier and more fun-loving way elsewhere.