Creepy Psychology guy is creepy.

Alrighty, I haven’t written anything on this blog because I’m currently crushed under the weight of a thousand American University applications (which are totally dumb by the way) but something so creepy happened to me yesterday I feel like I just have to share:

So yesterday, me and my best friend went to some really useless Ivy League presentation at Northern SS (around two blocks east of Eglinton Station). By the time we came out it was around 9pm. We were trying to figure out how to get back to the subway station when:

Some random guy walked up to us and said, “Hey, you guys are on Mt. Pleasant road right now. Where are you trying to go?”

Obviously we were a little freaked out, but we still answered, “Okay, we’re trying to get to Eglinton Station.”

You’d think that he’d just point out the way and leave us alone, right?

Except then he started WALKING WITH US.

We had no idea what the fuck was going on, but obviously we couldn’t just be like, “Um, why are you walking and talking with us?”

He then proceeded to asking us a bunch of personal questions. Like, what’s your background? Are you studying for graduate school?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He thinks I’m a university student!!!!!

So then I showed him my SAT book and told him, no, I’m studying for the SATs.

Apparently he didn’t know what the SATs are because he then asked, “That’s for graduate school, right?”

…

DO I LOOK THAT OLD? DO I LOOK THAT OLD?

Or maybe he just said that he thought I was a university student to feel less like a pedophile.

Or not. I mean, when he finally realized that we were underage, he didn’t seem to feel that anything was wrong.

Anyway, so he walked us ALL THE WAY to the subway station. It felt like forever. He started analyzing our personalities. He said my friend was passive. He said I probably couldn’t succeed in business. When I told him I wanted to do accounting he said that accounting is the most depressing job in the world.

I honestly wanted to punch him in the face. Who was he to tell us our personalities when he doesn’t even know us? Who was he to tell us what we should do when he randomly started talking to us out of nowhere?

When he finally left, me and my friend stared at each other and had a giant “WTF” moment. Seriously…

WHAT THE FUCK.

I mean, WHO DOES THAT? Who just walks up to underage girls at night and talks to them? That has got to be the creepiest thing I’ve ever experienced. I mean, we didn’t even ask for directions to begin with.

Anyway, I did learn that he was a psychology major at university.

Oh. That explains a lot actually.

I’ve always found psychology to be a really scary thing to study. It can really fuck you up. Like it did to this guy. I’m trying to think positively and not label him as a pedo. Maybe he was just using us as a fun little psychology exercise! He did ask us an awful lot of demographical information.

But still. You’ve got to be kidding me, Creepy Psychology Dude.

I could have called the police.

Anyway. When I told this to Annie, she brought up a very interesting point.

Last year, one of our friends met some guy. He walked up to her and asked for directions to the subway station when he obviously didn’t need them. Then they ended up talking and um, dating, I guess. And get this: He studies psychology.

Oh. My. God.

Coincidence???????????????

COULD THIS BE THE SAME GUY? I THINK SO!

I mean, how many creepy, 20-something-year-old psychology students who randomly walk up to female students to offer/ask for subway directions are there? I’d bet not a lot.

Anyway. Let this horrible experience be proof that you should listen to your mother and NEVER. TALK. TO. STRANGERS.

And I hope one day some girl calls the police and he ends up in jail.

Wais is so pretty!

So today, Annie showed me her mom’s Chinese blog over at Sohu.com. Interesting stuff.

However, what amazed me the most is the post she wrote about what she thinks of one of our friends. A big-eyebrowed guy named night-stalker Wais. I shall provide a full translation below. I have very helpfully bolded my favourite phrases.

“Friends” in Real Life

If you’ve seen the show “Friends” before, you’d remember a scientist nerd named Ross. He studies dinosaurs. He earns the most money and has the most stable job among the friends, but he’s the most unpopular with women (okay that’s Chandler actually, but whatever).  Joey is a poor actor, does not get paid steadily, but he is never without a girlfriend. Therefore I think that Western girls look for boyfriends that they have a lot of fun with. Of course there are Western girls that are very materialistic, but the percentage isn’t as high.  

Annie (who’s interestingly called some sort of meat) has a really cute friend of Middle-Eastern descent, very handsome/hot (…Sorry, there isn’t an exact translation of “太帅了”). This guy looks so good even if he just randomly put on a T-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. I said that he must have been very good-looking when he was small; however Annie told me that he was really fat when he was younger (LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.) This boy grew up in Canada, speaks standard North American English, is a NERD (I love how she capitalized “NERD”), and wants to study science (math, biology, chemistry). Annie says that this hottie (帅锅 = really cute/hot guy) often talks about science, and every time he does so everyone pretends to be very bored, making him feel resigned. (Haha, I’m sure she’s just trying to relate Wais with Ross. I don’t really think Wais does that.) This cutie has an extremely wealthy family (HAHAHAHA). Everyone keeps telling him that, “We’re jealous that you’re born SO pretty, so we must make fun of you” (VERY TRUE.) But since this hottie (I enjoy typing this word very much) is so good-natured, even when he’s being tortured by everyone he just tries very hard to explain himself. (OMG HOW CAN I NOT LAUGH AT THIS??????)  

(Now she says some irrelevant stuff…blah blah… Okay, I’m going to skip to the end:)

Oh, I’m going to attach a picture of a little Middle-Eastern prince:

(Also, now I must show you the comments which were SO FUNNY):

“Omg this prince is so delicate and beautiful!!!!”

“Oooh this little cutie in the picture is Annie’s classmate???  (HOW. He’s like 5 years old =w=;)”
There are so many hot guys and girls from the Middle East~~~~”

And Annie’s mom’s reply to the above comment just kills me:

“This picture is of the Prince of Dubai. 
Annie’s friend is a youth/teenager, he looks a tiny bit the gist of this picture (sorry, bad translating skills), his eyes look very similar, but he looks a lot more masculine.”

All I can say is, Oh. My. GOD. It’s not an exact translation, but still!!!!!!!

Seriously, the way Annie’s mom described Wais is absolutely hilarious. My crappy translation does not do it justice.

I mean… Maybe Wais is pretty/cute/……”hot” *cringe*. If I didn’t know him so well I might say he’s kinda cute too. Actually probably not. But I can see where Annie’s mom’s coming from. I think Chinese people have a thing for people with dark eyebrows and huge eyes – my parents call it “浓眉大眼”. However I still found her post so funny because Wais is way too much of a friend to me for me to not find it hilarious when people describe him as “hot”. SORRY.

BUT SERIOUSLY,  ”THIS GUY LOOKS SO GOOD EVEN IN JUST A T-SHIRT AND JEANS ”, “EXTREMELY HANDSOME/HOT”????????

THAT’S TOO MUCH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!

(Wais. Please don’t find this offensive. LAUGH WITH ME. :D:D:D:D)

Oh, and here’s the source. It’s all in Chinese, though.

100th Post Celebration!!!!!!!!!

Yes, indeed, this is our 100th post. No, we will not list our previous 99 posts to prove it.

Ah, how time does fly by! Remember how it all started on that fated October the 2nd, 2009, with a post about micronations? How we’ve blossomed since then! Ninety-nine posts about Justin Bieber, Blonde Parades, and gay contests later, we’re still hopeless high school girls  clueless about life. Yes, we have accomplished a lot. STFU.

Speaking of ninety-nine posts later since it all began, here’s the ’80s song “Ninety-Nine Red Balloons” by Nena. In German, because she sounds sexier in it. It will serve as our soundtrack today.

This song is about setting 99 balloons in the sky, and then all the governments around the world freaking out about these “mysterious objects”. Then the governments decide to destroy the balloons, except they end up destroying the world instead. And they still missed a balloon at the end. That’s impossibly fail, if you think about it. Which is why I’ve put the song here. To go with the spirit of this blog, see.

On a side note, how did music go from that to, uh, Justin Bieber?

To celebrate our 100th post, we’ve decided to unveil the list of “search terms” people have used to find our blog. This list should interest you because people have found our blog with the most…disturbing choice of words.

Fun Search Terms For All!

Kylie Crotch.Weed World

waffenstillstandsunterhandlungen (epiiiiiiiiiiic)

women praising god in white gown,

soviet posters best nipples ready to suc (…wut)

Does anyone want to invade sealand

does anyone live on sealand

omegle cyber

mcdonalds in Liechtenstein

vikesland stupid

minor offense on omegle right to remain

weed lover

norwegian jewelry face

emo lion furry art (… HOW)

no flour shocked face

kylie minogue sexy feet

gorillaz polar bear gags

ww2 rape posters

intergalactic zombie jesus (…. whut?)

1950′s baby exploding (o.o)

China fuck

Beyblade porno (whut)

Anime porn dress (whut)

Lady Gaga worship the devil

Boys caught wearing a dress (I want to find who searched that up. Actually, no I don’t.)

poor young teenage latina girl

witch animated porn hay lin (my brain… it hurts)

“joanna strong” lesbian toronto

men will die if you don’t do your part p

avatar the last airbender rape porn (THE HELL)

tentacle rape winx

“communism lesson making necklaces”

victorian dress blowjob

w.i.t.c.h. will bondage

justin bieber’s underwear (…pedo alert.)

fricken fat people (I’m curious as to who searches up fat people.)

shittiest looking mouse (Which post does this pertain to?)

kylie minogue sweaty crotch (ew)

sexy dress “no panty” (ew)

cute lil black boys

german baby eating

Lukas podolski sex

spongebob having sex with patrick

rule 34 south park

fairly odd parents rule 34

jair vega mexico gay

“my little pony” fakies tree symbol bird

kfc korea fucking country

dick of lukas podolski

gladiator heels bondage slave

what is the true gender of fernando torres (I love this search term. I love the searcher. Dear searcher, I would like to contact you and discuss the ambiguous gender issue of Fernando Torres please.)

fuck communism stationary with eagle

In conclusion, YAY US!!! We’ve survived another year of high school and spit out 100 posts of random crap. We are very proud.

We’ll leave you with a super creepy picture. We’ll see you in our 1-year-anniversary post set to air on October 2nd, 2010.

Worldwide Mr. Gay!!!!

When one hears of a contest named “Worldwide Mr. Gay” the understandable reaction would be, “What? Such a thing exists?”

But it does. And from the looks of it, the contest is quite legit as well. In fact we already have a previous post on this fabulous event.

The World Wide Mr. Gay is something like an annual beauty pageant for homosexual men. The next pageant is set in the Philippines from March 11th to 14th.

Here, enjoy a promotional video:

Mmm.

So, the point of the competition, according to its very macho-looking website, is the following:

The Worldwide Mr. Gay Competition is a 4-day, indoor/outdoor series of events to help our judges identify a strong spokesman or Ambassador to tell the world about our mission.  The Competition includes athletic tests and extensive interviews with our panel of judges.  Judging points are based on a diverse set of criteria including qualities in charisma, leadership, personality, appearance and communication.

Which is very nice. Except amazing athletic abilities and something like a twelve-pack are totally required for an Ambassador. If only that were so, politics would be so much more interesting.

Let’s see, the mission statement:

The primary purpose of Worldwide Mr. Gay (WMG) is to identify leaders who will take responsibility of being a spokesperson not only in his own community but on a global stage speaking out for equal and human rights.  WMG is a positive role model and will work on humanizing being gay in the media both queer and mainstream.

Okay fantastic, this organization is trying to find a positive role model to promote homosexual rights and put a stop to homophobia. That’s all very nice.

One suggestion though — people just might take this pageant more seriously if it isn’t titled Mr. Gay. One of the major headaches of homosexual rights is the fact that people keep using the term “gay” derogatorily to describe things that piss them off. Oh come on, who hasn’t said “That’s so gay!” before? So really, a better name should be implemented immediately.

Because “Mr. Gay Chile Speaks Out” doesn’t sound ridiculous at all.

Here are the delegates of 2010 who competed to be World Wide Mr. Gay (I have to admit the name grows on you after a while though).

Special mention to the Chinese delegate just because China even having a candidate is horrifyingly hilarious. No, seriously. Homosexuality is not met with a smile and an approving slap on the back in China. According to the website each region is responsible for selecting its own delegate, which raises the question: Did the government know about this? China’s Propaganda Agency couldn’t have actually selected a delegate and then shipped him off to represent China. Or could it? If it actually did then it’s a sure sign that the world is ending.

Oh, actually, the Mystery of the Chinese Delegate is now solved.

Six contestants, from countries in the Middle East, Africa and Asia, chose not to travel to Norway for fear of harassment at home.

Mr Gay China was chosen in a secret competition after authorities raided the venue where the selection was to have taken place in January. Authorities said the event did not have the proper licence.

Mr Gay China said he could face trouble with Chinese authorities when he returned home, but nevertheless travelled to Norway to be an example to others.

“I think that by participating in this competition I will encourage hundreds of thousands of Chinese gays to stand up and

come out of the closet,” said Xiaodai Muyi, 26.

Phew, the world is back to normal. There was just no way that the Chinese government could have actually approved of this event. Raiding the venue and claiming that the event did not have a license sounds about right. Everyone, let’s have a round of applause for Xiaodai Muyi & Co. for their courage in doing this in secret! Let us also say a quick prayer that Xiaodai doesn’t mysteriously “disappear” after he returns to China.

Extra bonus points for the Swiss delegate. He looks pretty. Plus his name is just so right. Sorry that was inappropriate

Tobias Dickenmann, everyone.

The person who did win the title of “2010 Mr. Gay” is the South African delegate, Charl van den Berg. He is also very very pretty. Here is his only blog entry.

Here’s a delightful picture of him standing in front of a Canadian flag.

And here he is with his “Mr. Gay” scarf standing in front of the Winter Olympic rings.

Finally, to prove that all of this is not just some imaginary madness, here’s a newspaper article on this wonderfully bizarre event.

Oooh la la.

And no, my apparent interest in this pageant isn’t weird at all.

Personally I think it’s nice that these people are trying to raise awareness and stop homophobia. I’m just not sure that having a giant beauty pageant is the correct way to do it. But, well, at least the delegates are happy.

“I have been to the gym two hours every day, Monday to Saturday, working with the weights and building up the abs,” said Mr Gay Mexico, 34-year-old Jair Vega.

Hmm, this sounds like someone I know who’s also developed somewhat of an obsession with the gym. Or “Jim”, as we call it. Perhaps he would be interested in the pageant once he turns 19?

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t hate me aforementioned friend

Good luck to delegates of 2011, and may the best man win! I am also eagerly anticipating “Mystery of the Chinese Delegate Part Two”. I really hope they manage to sneak another person in.

*cross-posted to punyfairies* (shameless advertising)

Summer school is almost over!

Oh, thank freaking goodness.

So, our “summative” is kind of a conference thing, in which we all get asked questions about the novel that we chose to study on our own and then we have to present a creative media thing that we made on the novel. And then of course relate it to real life because everything needs to be related to something else in English.

I’m just dropping by to put my video here, because I’m just so happy I’m done — cheers to no more English homework until university!!!!

I cheated by just using a bunch of clips I downloaded from Youtube, but since my teacher is so technologically challenged (WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE A VIDEO? REALLY? HOW????) I think it’ll do.

Since this is a happy post, here, have this picture of a smiling child:

Look how precious.

*EDIT: Okay, so I just signed up for a new blog, because a) There are some really silly things that I think are not appropriate for No Fricken Clue and b) I don’t want to mess with the current format of this blog. If anyone’s interested (I somehow doubt it), it’s called Puny Fairies. Yeah, told you it’d be silly. Also, I warn you that the first post is about toilets. :I

English is bullshit.

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it:

English marks don’t mean squat.

Like, seriously.

The problem is that every English teacher marks very differently. There is actually no way to regulate English marking – no school seems to be diligent enough to try and come up with a system of marking that all English teachers have to follow.

I understand that it’s difficult to regulate marking for English – but I haven’t seen any English departments try either.

For example, I think it’s possible to discuss this issue in the many, many useless department meetings. The teachers can try to have a big workshop in which sample essays are brought in and all the teachers can agree on a range of marks that they would give for these essays. I mean, if these teachers are all so qualified and competent as the school assures us they are, then they should probably be able to come up with such a system.

But no. They don’t actually give a crap. Every teacher just marks however he/she wants to.

Which results in English marks being things of luck – if you’re lucky and get an easy marker, then good for you. But if you’re unlucky (like I always am) and end up with the crazy-ass hard markers then you’re screwed.

Because you can never actually argue with English teachers about your mark. Because you just didn’t use the right word here, see. Your focus was too broad, see. Your essay just doesn’t sound as good as Bob’s, see.

My grade eleven teacher was like that. And now my summer school English teacher is like that too.

They keep giving me really positive comments – like how my essays are so eloquent and well-organized, etc, etc, and then I get a mark ranging from 75 to 82.

So then I ask them why I get such low marks even though my essays were so eloquent, and they say,

“But 70 is a good mark! In university you get lower than that!”

…

You know what.

I’m NOT IN UNIVERSITY YET.

All I care about is getting into university.

And at this rate I’m not getting into university.

It wouldn’t be such a problem if everyone got low marks. But there’s always that big-eyebrowed kid in the class next to you getting high 80s by producing the same quality stuff that you do. Because his teacher marks so much more easily.

So when you hand in your transcript, the university will be like, hmm, big-eyebrowed kid has 88 in English, this nerdy-looking girl is getting a 75, I WONDER WHICH ONE I WILL ACCEPT?

No offence to the big-eyebrowed person. Just trying to come up with an example.

And you know what? You just never know how these teachers mark. You find yourself working your butt off to get an 80 (Oh, God, I JUST WANT AN 80!!!) and that dumb girl who won’t shut her trap sitting next to you is getting into the 80s. And you just ask yourself,

Why?

Why is it that English teachers always think that 70 is such a good mark? Most university programs require a minimum of 75. Why is it that to these teachers 85 is the highest mark that you can get? What’s the point of making 85 the highest mark you can get in an essay?

So this is why I said that English marks don’t mean anything. They don’t really represent your writing skills. Because English is not about being able to coherently argue your point anymore. English is all about rhetorical devices and symbolism and archetypes. Oh my.

What really determines your English mark is basically luck. You just have to pray that you get an easy marker and a teacher who might like you.

I’m getting, what, a 75 in English right now? And one of my friends asked me, “WHAT, you got 75?!?! Then what is the rest of the class getting????” (Wow, my reputation as a nerd spreads far and wide.) Then she asked me, “Well, do you think you deserve a 75?”

The truth is, I don’t know.

After my crazy grade 11 year and now summer school, I just don’t know what I deserve anymore. I don’t know what is a “good mark”, and I don’t know whether I deserve an 85.

All I know is that I just want to finish English and then never think about it again.

I’ll just have to worry about not getting into university when I start getting rejection letters.

__________________________________

Actually, you know what?

I’m going to stop ranting so much. Because nobody cares. Nobody generally gives a crap about my petty little problems because I’ve been told that I whine so much about inconsequential things all day long.

That’s fine. I’m going to stop being such a complainer as of this post.

In fact, maybe I’ll just stop writing on NFC for a while because all I seem to do here is complain anyway.

So, toodles for a bit. Maybe I’ll try writing in a sillier and more fun-loving way elsewhere.

So this is it.

The World Cup is officially over.

I don’t know whether to be sad or happy or both.

I’m sad because, well, the damned thing only comes every four years. And four years is a long, long time. Four years ago I still didn’t know what a blow job was. Or how a penis looked like. (I am not joking.) In four years, we will be done our third year of university. I can’t even imagine how I will have changed by that time. If you think about it, four years in the future is actually a scary thought, for us people who have no idea what’s going to happen in the future.

But at the same time, I’ve been so focused on the World Cup for the entire past month and I have to admit I am a little tired. Maybe it’s nice to get away from soccer/football for a while. And besides, I’ve decided to start following club football (mainly the Bundesliga) and of course the UEFA championship is only 2 years away.

As for the result of the final — of course Spain has won 1-0 yet again. Of course. I’ve repeatedly told everyone so, but few people felt inclined to believe me. Ah, well. That always happens. Sorry for sounding, uh, smug or whatever, but I’m more often right than not and now my dad worships me.

I’m not going to bother to explain again why I dislike Spain (the football team – not the country. You wouldn’t believe the amount of girls on Facebook accusing me of “attacking their country”). Because, as usual, no one understands what I mean anyway. Most people probably just end up wanting to stone me. Or someone named Hitler from dicks@dicksdicksdicks.com will just write me a horribly offensive comment again (I am not making this up. It has happened).

So, you know, congratulations, Spain. Good job.

That’s all I’m going to say on that subject. I felt surprisingly little after the final because since Spain beat Germany 1-0 I knew this was going to happen. So whatever.

I just feel sorry for the Netherlands for making the finals three times and not winning a single one.

But, well, my parents said that if you look at World Cup history, you’ll find that usually the team that ends up winning always kind of tumble through. The teams that win outrageously in the beginning of the tournament somehow end up losing in the end.

Like how Spain scored 8 goals in 7 matches and won the World Cup, whereas Germany scored 16 goals and ended up with the third place.

Anyway, here’s a list of all the things I’m going to remember from this World Cup:

• Paul the Octopus. He predicted 8 matches correctly in a row. The probability of that, by the way, is 0.39%.
• Frank Lampard’s “goal” in England vs. Germany
• Germany trashing Argentina 4-0
• Uruguay vs. Ghana penalties
• Spain vs. Paraguay penalties
• Robert Green’s super fail against USA
• Thomas Mueller wins the Golden Boot AND Best Young Players award

Now I will commemorate my beloved “Die Nationalmannschaft”:

First up, Thomas Mueller:

Oh my god. This kid is only 20 years old. He scored five goals in six matches. In his first World Cup. He only debuted for the German national team in March. And now he’s won both the Golden Boot and Best Young Player.

For your information he won the Golden Boot over the likes of Wesley Sneijder, Diego Forlan, and David Villa. Who scores in every single game.

That’s just simply unbelievable. I smell the birth of a new legend.

And besides it just makes me happy that these awards are passed from one German to another:

Miro won the Golden Boot in 2006

And Lukas Podolski won the Best Young Player award in 2006 as well

And now Mueller’s won both of them. Keeping the awards within the Mannschaft sure is sweet.

Next up is my darling Eyebrows:

He was given the Captain’s armband after the injury of Michael Ballack. He’s done such an amazing job. I’m so proud of him.

Then we have Arne Friedrich, who scored his first goal for Germany (he’s a defender):

He was so happy he died.

I’m so happy for him. He deserves it so bad. Oh also, he has a super badass MAN-ROAARRRR.

I told you so. (The rain sort of makes it even more epic.)

And lastly, I just have to say that I feel so, so sorry for Klose. This was his last World Cup. He was SO CLOSE to making history and surpassing Ronaldo’s record for the most World Cup goals (he did make history – he’s now at 14 with Gerd Mueller). But he did not play the last match – whether because he really had a back injury or because he just didn’t feel like it, we’ll never know. Which I totally understand because  the disappointment of being second place and then third place two in a row in the World Cup must be devastating. He just looked so sad at the third place ceremony it broke my heart.

…It still breaks my heart. He is just such a nice person – there were always people saying how he didn’t deserve to be counted among the legends and that he doesn’t deserve to break the record and whatever, but he never says anything. He’s always been the kind of person that just lets his actions speak for him. He’s never been involved in any kind of scandal or controversy and he always plays better when you put him in a National Team jersey. Seeing him so dejected in the last match really made me feel all sniffly. But, really, he shouldn’t be sad. He’s done what most footballers cannot achieve.

And I’ll always remember this picture of him lounging on the table sexily.

Danke schoen, Germany. For the great matches and the great football and the great Teamgeist. You lose just like any other team (except Spain), but when you win you destroy (unlike Spain). That’s why I love you.

And lastly, here’s a video of emotional Casillas to please the Spain fangirls:

And just remember: that’s never going to happen to you.

EDIT: Annie adding some stuff on because it’s neither long or significant enough to garner it’s own post.

Bloody hell, that last match.

Thirteen yellow cards. Friggin thirteen. Was that even a match?

Why doesn’t finals ever end in a clean game? Sometimes its the referee being mean, but kicking someone in the chest is just low. And stop diving, please. If I wanted to watch people sissy-fighting I would’ve just gone to school. I know every team cheats to a certain degree, but you have to make it so painfully obvious? Even the newspapers were raving about it.

The outcome was pretty obvious, previous world match finals all ended with a one-nil victory, its just a question of which team.

Personally I think the German team was better than the Netherlands, so I dunno. The system is weird.

Paul the octopus is retired. At least nobody ate him! He’s innocent! (I read somewhere that people were going to send him bodyguards. LOLEUROPEANS.

Germany lost. I don’t freaking care. I will support you forever.

*Foreword: I’d just like to warn you that this post does not put Spain in a very favorable light. I’m just writing about my own silly opinions. I don’t want to argue with anyone, so if you strongly support Spain please stop reading now.

So, Paul was correct once again. Spain has won over Germany. I’m having you for dinner, Paul.

But you know what? As soon as I knew that Germany would be playing Spain, I kind of knew this was going to happen.

Yeah, I was worried before Germany played England. I was even more worried before Germany played Argentina.

But this time I was actually more…resigned rather than worried.

Because I know that no matter how unconvincingly Spain plays, no matter how it fails to live up to its reputation every time, it somehow always wins at the end.

That was what happened in all of Spain’s elimination games.

1:0 against Portugal.

1:0 against Paraguay.

Now 1:0 against Germany.

I found the following quote on one of the comments at another blog:

“Why can’t the ‘best team in the world … over the past two years’ seem to find the net more than once per game? Three games, three one-nil results. Credit great defense or whatever you want, but watching Spain slowly throttle three teams one-to-nothing isn’t my idea of exciting soccer. “

Yes, Spain always wins.

But did Spain ever win perfectly convincingly? Did Spain ever give one glorious performance in which it dominated from the beginning to the end? The only game Spain managed to win with more than a 1-goal margin was 2 – 0 against Honduras. Honduras.

I rather think that it always seemed like they managed to scrape by.

Yes, in the end winning is what matters.

Yes, in the end Spain was able to keep the opponent from scoring in all its matches.

Kudos for that.

But I will never support Spain.

Because I’ve always felt like Spain just keeps hogging the ball all the time.

I know that this is a legitimate strategy.

I know that being able to retain possession the way Spain can is a very valuable skill.

And from the match results I know that it works.

But I just can’t respect that strategy. I don’t find their so-called “Flowing Football” style enjoyable to watch at all.

I mean, time-wasting is also a legitimate strategy. But do you love it?

Instead it frustrates me to watch Spain play.

If I think rationally, yeah, Spain deserved to win its matches. Spain certainly deserved to win this game, because Germany didn’t play well. I’m not bitter enough to say that Spain didn’t deserve to win today. So I keep telling myself to try to think logically and count all the good things about the Spanish team.

But in my case, even though I know that Spain technically deserves to win, I never feel that way. Do you know what I mean? Like how sometimes you know that your parents are right but you’re still just not convinced?

My friend Monta understands what I mean. I know that because he summarized the whole situation with one sentence:

“Spain is a very aggravating team.”

Yes, aggravating. That’s the word I was looking for. Thanks, Monta!

Even my dad, who spent money betting on Spain, keeps saying to me how he doesn’t understand what the big deal about Spain is;  Spain never looked like the oh-so-amazing team that everyone made it out to be.

I guess our family just really need a team which, when it wins, manages to actually convince us emotionally that it  deserves to win. Okay since that sentence is so wordy and messed up, I’ll put it in a simpler way: We want a team who makes us feel like it lives up to its name. We like a team who wins so dynamically that even its opposition will have to admire its victory. (Asking for too much? xDDDD)

And that’s why I supported Germany. It has given me some positively DELICIOUS matches which made me so giddy with joy afterwards. It has won its matches so epicly and decisively.

You know you can’t say the same about Spain.

And don’t even try to convince me otherwise. We all have our opinions, and mine is that I don’t like the Spain plays.

Though I still want to say congratulations to Spain for making the finals for the first time in history.

But Germany, I’m with you all the way.

Thank you so much for playing an incredible tournament. Thank you for giving me those moments when I thought I might cry from excitement and happiness. Those moments make your loss today seem almost inconsequential. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so freaking much.

And lastly,

GO ORANJE! Go kick some butt! Even if you don’t win, please make me proud!!!!!!!!

Germany write thank-you note to fans. Paul predicts Spain.

Our super nice German boys have written an appreciation note for all their fans:

D'aww.

Translation:

To our fans in Germany,

We all have seen the pictures from home. Hundreds of thousands in the public squares, millions of television screens, emotions in black, red and gold. Our country celebrates a peaceful football party. Goosebumps for the whole team.

Even if you are almost ten thousand kilometres away: your support is here for every single one of us. Your enthusiasm gives us an extra kick. Your support makes us stronger.

Our road to the final has not yet come to an end; the party will go on. In South Africa and Germany. We are all one team. And we all have a very big goal. Together we can do it!

Your team

Yet despite the boys’ niceness, PAUL PREDICTS SPAIN FOR TOMORROW’S MATCH.

…Paul, remember who’s feeding you!!!!

!!!!!

Paul, you’d better be wrong.

Or I’m going to eat you.

Germany – I will never doubt again.

So, for today’s post, I shall open with a line from one of the best movies ever, the Princess Bride:

“I will never doubt again.”

– Princess Buttercup

That’s exactly how I feel, Germany.

I can’t believe I ever doubted you. I can’t believe for the past week I’ve been saying, “Oh it’s okay if you lost, Germany. I’ll still love you anyways.”

I will never doubt again.

4 – 0.

4 – 0?!?!?!?!!??!

Against ARGENTINA?

It’s simply surreal. And I thought they were going to lose!

Once again, Germany has won because of their immaculate organization.

If you look at the World Cup, Germany is kind of he only team without a “superstar” — like Lionel Messi, Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Wayne Rooney, etc, etc.

And yet they did so well against England and Argentina, both teams with an abundance of stars and pre-tournament favorites.

How? I think it’s because the German players work so well together as a team. None of them are selfish, none of them try to hog the ball. They pass with such precision and organization.

No wonder they are known as “Die Mannschaft”, “The Team”. (To us who don’t speak German anyway. In Germany the team’s known by a couple of nicknames.)

It’s just so impressive the amount of composure these German players have in front of the opposition’s net, despite being barely over 20 (Mueller is 20 years old, Oezil 21).

No one expected anything out of Germany before the tournament started – with Michael Ballack, Rene Adler, Simon Rolfes and Heiko Westermann (? on the spelling) all injured, everyone condescendingly wrote off the German team as being too young, too inexperienced, lacking  a real leader.

But I guess no one’s laughing now.

I’m sorry for spazzing again, but 4 – 0!!!! Against Argentina!

I think Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor (Bundeskanzlerin? xD;; German fail), also gave the German team motivation to do well by coming to South Africa to watch the game.

After all, you gotta impress the boss lady.

Merkel was also there when Germany beat Argentina in the penalty shootouts 4 years ago.

So looks like the Bundes Queen brings good luck again! You go, Angela! (I love her. She personally greeted the boys 4 years ago as well. And today she showed up with the same red suit as pictured above – too much luck can never hurt!)

Anyway, I’m such a doubter. When Germany was ahead 1 – 0, I kept thinking that OH MY GOD, Argentina’s going to score any minute now, it can’t be this easy!!! When Germany was ahead at 2 – 0, I was still not completely confident on the German team winning. After all, anything can happen.

But then the game got to 3 – 0. And I was like, Okay, Germany’s going to win!!!

At this point, the lovely Annie told me, “Okay, Germany, go score another goal to make it 4 – 0, to make the score perfect!” and I still thought, “No way they can score ANOTHER goal.”

…

And I was proven wrong once again by the mighty German perfectionism.

They just HAD to score another goal, didn’t they? xDDDD

I swear, it’s so freaky. They beat Australia 4 – 0, England 4 – 1, and now Argentina 4 – 0. They sure seem to like that number 4.

Annie, I bow down to you. You rule.

Also, never ever ever underestimate German OCDness.

Later, I asked my dad, if Germany’s strategic organization works so well, then how come no other country are imitating them? And my dad said that it’s not so easy to just imitate that kind of organization. It’s kind of in the tradition of the country and its people. I suppose that makes sense – even Klose said in an interview, that the German team is always so confident because “it comes down to a quality that we know we possess”.

So, all around plenty of good news for Germany:

My idol Miroslav Klose scored two goals today, bringing up his World Cup goal total to 14, which  equals the legendary German striker Gerd Mueller, and is only 1 behind the record holder Ronaldo (the retired Brazilian one. Not Cristiano, oh god of course not).

That’s right, Miro. Flip for me, baby!

He also won is 100th international cap for Germany.

His international goal count is now at 52 goals in 100 games for Germany.

Thomas Mueller, who scored 2 goals against England, scored the opening goal at 3 minutes (!!! 3 minutes!!!), which brings his goal total to 4. He’s only 20. This is his first World Cup. Also his goal was the 200th FIFA World Cup goal for Germany, as well as the quickest one scored in this tournament.

(And he’s also married – engaged at, like, 18. =_=”’ Okay Sarah, no bias against teenage marriage, no bias.)

And today Argentina was so fail it let a defender score a goal.

Not joking.

The 3rd goal for Germany was scored by Arne Friedrich, a defender.

I love it. Defenders finally get some glory! (Now Philipp, perhaps you should consider scoring as well? Your eyebrows want you to.)

Why so glum, Eyebrows?

(Sorry, I can never resist putting up more pictures of his caterpillar-esque brows.)

And the Man of the Match is Bastian Schweinsteiger, who deserves to win purely because of his awesome name – one look at it and you know exactly which teams he plays for.

No offense to Argentina, but I’ve always sort of questioned Maradona’s coaching abilities. Yes, he was a brilliant player and he is a great motivator, but I don’t really know what to say about his ability to come up with the right tactics for each opponent. I mean, he’s so superstitious he prepares for a match by asking God who will win (Argentina of course) and singing a song.

All in all, I’m just so damned proud of my German darlings right now.

As I said, I will never doubt again.

Also, let’s all hail Paul the Psychic Octopus, who has correctly predicted the German victory yet again:

Holy Mother of God.

O Almighty Paul the All-Seeing, please forgive me for ever doubting your psychic abilities. *Bows down…We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!*

Actually, I’m pretty happy with myself so far as well. Pretty much the teams I support always win.

I supported Germany against England and Argentina, and Germany won both games despite both England and Argentina being pre-tournament favorites.

Then I supported the Netherlands against Brazil even though everyone thought that no way in hell Brazil would lose. Netherlands won.

The only game Germany lost so far is the Serbia game, and I didn’t watch that game.

In fact, I had a nightmare about how Germany lost against Serbia right as the match was happening at 7:30 am.

…I’m not bragging or anything. Just being happy. ;D

One last thing, I’m not saying that Germany will lose, but since both my dad and Annie support Spain, I suppose I would be okay with it if Spain beat Germany in the semifinals.

Now, a little picspam of my Great German Boys :

Poor Mertesacker gets a ball kicked right into his face. HAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I may be immature, but something like this is never not funny.

Michael Ballack was also there to cheer Germany on, bless his injured ankle.

Hey, he's surprisingly well-dressed today. I bet Angela Merkel made him. He looked GOOD.

Paul. I swear I'm going to visit you one day.

And can you BELIEVE that Argentina got a bunch of posers to act like Paul?

Stop copying Germany, Argentina.

All of you were wrong, ha! Now stop trying to be Paul. You will never succeed. He’s too epic.

Yes, laugh on, my babies!

It's even better that the boys showed up in their black jerseys, which are fucking hot.

Arne Friedrich, the champion for all under-appreciated defenses!

And of course Philipp was amazing.

YES. Miro's doing his flippy thing again! Love him!

That's right. Hug it out, my pretties.

You may now kiss the bride.

…Sorry. That one didn’t have anything to do with today’s game, but it’s so lols.

LOL JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY, YOU TWO.

Black-jerseyed German manpile = *fans self*

Angie - "Wow, I'm so lucky!" (I love her expression to death.)

DEUTSCHLANDDDDDD!!!!!

Special mention to the adorable goalkeeper Manuel Neuer, who was fucking amazing today. If not for him, Argentina would've scored like 16 times.

That’s all for now.

STAY AMAZING, GERMANY!!!!!! :’DDDDDD

Oh, and here are the highlights: